Sunday, February 2, 2014

What is parenting?

I'm not really sure if this post has any point to it besides me just sharing my thoughts but I thought well that's why I did create this lil space to begin with. 
So here it goes....As Bowden gets closer to 18 months, I have been thinking a lot about how this parenting thing is pretty easy; we got Bowden on a pretty good schedule, sometimes he tells us when its Night Night time, I can pretty much guess when he's gonna poop (maybe you didn't want to know that) we know what he really loves to do; like go on walks, play outside with Linus, and build blocks. That sounds good right, like we are doing an okay job. It's getting so good, we are like we should have more kids, we know what to expect now. Bring it on!!


Are we NAIVE (probably) but I never thought much about what parenting entails.
When we first talked about having kids, I concerned myself a lot with learning about babies and how to take care of them and sure Lance and I talked about how our kids are not gonna get spoiled and they will only get a couple presents at Christmas (ya that one didn't stick), and we would occasionally talk about discipline; how we got spanked or our mouths washed out with soap and we turned out great,so our kids will get disciplined. But to be honest Discipline....I don't like it, not sure how to do it, not even sure if it works. 
And here we are at 18 months.... Just to give you a glimpse

Bowden enjoying personal time eating a snack and watching Mickey

Then he flipped the switch, it was kinda funny cuz I wanted to take a picture of him smiling at me, and then he didn't like that.

Had to add this one, he was so upset, the blurriness is him throwing his head back n forth, notice he finally got Linus' attention

It's been like this non stop the whole week, we even had an all sprawled out on the floor in Jamba Juice moment, luckily there was only one other lady there and the two employees who were teenagers, probably thought it was entertaining. However, I'm embarrassed because you feel like you can't console him or like you even know your child. I wish I had a picture of that one but like I said I was embarrassed and that would just look wrong taking a pic of my son while he is sobbing his guts out on the fruit stained floor.

So lately, I have been getting great advice from other moms, researching a lot on parenting styles and everyone does it so different according to their child's personality and the behavior. There are some really good articles I pinned on Pinterest, not to throw my beliefs on other moms but just to share in case your curious what's out there. Here are some: 

Some days, I would worry so much if it was a tantrum and how to stop it, instead of really going to the root of it. This last week Bowden hadn't been feeling good, he ran a fever for 3 days and hasn't had a big appetite. Then one day, he seems to be doing pretty good, eating fine, sleeping good, and all of the sudden throws the biggest fit. I didn't think to put the last few days with this tantrum because he seemed to be fine and thought he is just throwing a fit. When really he could still not be feeling well. It's only been a week, he could still not be feeling well and I shouldn't assume the worse, especially in a toddler.
I have those fears, "Will my kid be spoiled?" "Will he be rebellious?"  "What if he throws a tantrum in a public place?" oh wait... he did that last one already lol. 
After getting great advice,  we are gonna try some things out, if they work, great if not, it's not the end of the world, I'm learning to not stress about the lil things, love more, be more compassionate,  and be patient (that's always a hard one) you can't go wrong with those!
In the end, I love my son, I think he likes me okay, he is not out to get me, even though it might feel like it, and he is learning to talk and communicate and so am I.
So what is parenting? 
Parenting is hard on the sick and fussy days when your not sure if they are teething, gassy, or tired but easy on the days they take good naps, eat all their meals, and give you some time while they entertain themselves with toys. Parenting is frustrating when you know they want something but can't seem to solve their puzzle but it is also so rewarding when they squeeze your neck, give you kisses, and run up from behind to give you "leg hugs."Parenting is one of the greatest joys I have experienced and such a blessing that I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Friday, October 18, 2013

The Mom Club

 I want to dedicate this post to all the moms, 1st time moms, and moms to be. 
After I found out I was pregnant it was like I was immediately  inducted into an elite group called "The Mom Club." It was amazing, it is amazing! I have gotten a chance to meet new moms, connect with old mom friends, and help soon to be moms. It's a kind of camaraderie that you just feel like you're never alone and I want to say thank you to all the moms that help me, encourage me, share their stories and give me advice! I may not have used all the advice but it's definitely in my mom bag for next time around!
As I was thinking back on this year I just wanted to share a couple things I have learned from experiences. I guess you could called it Life Lessons from Bowden part 2.

1. Be wise in what you say to a New Mom
I remember this one time my husband and I were about to go into a very important meeting at a new place and we weren't able to get a sitter so we brought Bowden with us. Well, wouldn't you know it, he decides to fall and hit his mouth on the edge of a glass coffee table, right before we go in. Blood is literally spuing out, I couldn't tell if he needed stitches, lost a tooth, and it was so intense. Well the blood calms down but me I'm still shaken up. We tell the lady we are meeting with what happened, why we were late, and her response was that it's not gonna be the last time and to get use to it....I'm sorry but I will never get use to my son being in pain that was just the worse thing you could say to me. So here's my take, yes I'm a first time mom but let me experience it, I know more incidents will happen, I hope they don't but I just don't think you can plan for something horrible, that makes no sense. Bowden fell last night and hit  his nose on the edge of a tile step  and my heart still jumped out of my chest. From this experience I hope I never tell a new mom to get use to your child getting hurt, but I would say yes it does happen and it's unfortunate, nothing can prepare you for it, just pray God gives you the strength to handle it.
2. "Comparison is the death of Joy" -Mark Twain
I think this one might take me longer to grasp but I will be honest its been really hard to not compare Bowden to other babies his age this last year. It would be the tiniest thing that probably seems ridiculous, like when he's gonna crawl, get a tooth, talk, and the funny thing is after I would stress about it, usually the next week he was doing it! I have learned that in time he will get there and just enjoy the ride, why rob moments of joy and replace it with stress and comparison that's not fair to Bowden. He doesn't compare me (well not yet)

Our beach trip to Cali in July when Bowden took his first steps at Grammy and Grampys.
3. Let him try new things.
It's that natural instinct in me to protect Bowden, which is why Lance is the perfect balance to my world, cuz he is the adventurous one. I would  keep a close eye and parameter on Bowden 24/7 which in most cases I should but even if I was right by him I wouldn't let him try things.  Most moms are probably the opposite of me, but I'm learning! He is not gonna learn new things if I'm always hindering him to try.

The Newest member of our family we adopted..Linus

4. A life lived to the fullest
I think at first my schedule was completely ran by Bowden, which is understandable but after awhile I began compromise my schedule for his, when really I just needed to slowly fit him into my schedule so that my life doesn't become all about him but he lives life with me and Lance. There were times at first it was really hard for me to go on a date and leave him because I felt like he couldn't live without me but he always ended up being fine.

Well I'm sure there are more, but those are just some of the things I have learned this last year.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

camp bowden

what's a party without tattoos

Camp Bowden has come and gone just like this last year! I can't believe he's gonna be 1 tomorrow! So many emotions! We had a little birthday party tonight for him and  it was very special because we also dedicated him! Not your traditional baby dedication I know but we are not your average, normal people, we like to do things different! Bowden's grandpa also a pastor dedicated  him in our backyard and I loved it. Bowden is so close to my heart but I have learned He is not "mine" he is God's first and as easy as that sounds sometimes I'll admit, it's hard because I worry about him (I think it's harder for moms, naturally)

Since he was born I felt time slipping by so fast and a lot of life lessons began to hit me hard. I have learned to cherish every single day, there hasn't been a night this last year that I didn't go in his room to check on him "one more time."
I have learned to be more grateful, I'm so grateful that we had a healthy baby boy this year and I pray that he continues to stay healthy this next year as well.

This has truly been the best life changing experience ever and I'm so blessed to be his mom, God redeemed August 19th, 2012 for me, what once use to be a sad day in remembrance, is now a celebration of a new life! Happy Birthday Bowdie bear, I love you!