Jaimie Lynn Marie

You will have to excuse me I'm not myself today. Actually, around this time every year my emotions are usually all over the place.

 I wasn't going to post anything especially today because this week has been a little difficult but I really wanted to share what has been going on in my mind because for one what I'm going to say is the one thing in my life I rarely talk about and my husband asked me why I don't and the truth is... I think I'm scared to talk about it because I fear it will make me sad but really I need to because I don't want to forget and second it's a part of my life and I started this blog to share the things God is teaching me and about His love. So here it is...

9 years ago today the most devastating thing happened to our family, my mom passed away. She was one of the most amazing women I know. Her name was Jaimie Lynn Marie, she was a school teacher and was actually mine and my sisters 5th grade teacher( and no we didn't get special treatment) 

She's the first person who taught me how to worship God. At the private school she taught, every morning she would make her students sing and said that it didn't matter if you had a good voice but that we needed to practice because that is what will be doing when we get to heaven. She is also the first person who taught me to read my Bible. She would get up every morning at 5:30 and read her Bible, I wanted to be just like her. She loved coffee, cats, and jewelry, I guess that's where I get my likings from.

 These past couple years I have missed her the most I think because of all the transitions in my life she would have been my go to person and the other day I felt like I was forgetting her so I wanted to share some things for my sake but also to say that through this unexpected situation I began to have a real relationship with God something I don't think would have happened if my mom was still here. Even though I miss my mom's love and her presence in this world, I know God's love is so much stronger and is everlasting. Really I needed to begin to rely on Him more. Not only that but he gave me a husband and best friend that will talk about her with me whenever and that is something I prayed for because it was such a sensitive event in my life.

 Honestly most days I don't think about her, and some days I will randomly cry, but I know I will always love her in my heart. God really does have a plan for everything, good or bad if you just trust in Him! Through this I have learned that healing is not always a "one time thing" but a process that God wants to break down so He can rebuild and take out the hurt and pain and make us stronger. I have learned that what was once my pain can become someone else's healing. Lastly I have learned that God is the only consistent thing in my life and is always there for me.
I leave you with this my mom's favorite verse:

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."